Being a mom to a child with disabilities, I have my own share of ups and downs. Over the past seven years, with acceptance , I had been at the positive side of things and had been appreciative of our triumphs and the many battles that we have won.
But today, I am on those down days and I just can’t help but cry. In a very painful way, I was reminded of a sad reality that our Hendrix will not be just like all the other kids his age who will experience going to regular school. My heart was broken to pieces once again…
I shed tears for the missed chance to bring him to school and say goodbye as he goes inside his classroom.
I shed tears because Hendrix will not experience the excitement of wearing a school uniform, having his own lunchbox and bringing his school bag.
I shed tears for not being able to have the opportunity to watch him in school performances or fuss about his costumes.
I shed tears for not being able to collect class pictures from his pre-school , grade school and high school classes or even those yearly identification cards.
I shed tears for the lost opportunities to help him in his assignments (and maybe those little fights over study habits and review sessions) and school projects.
I shed tears for feeling like a failure parent because I will not be able to give him a good education to secure his future.
Yes, I am in one of those days.
But despite that I know that tomorrow is another day; to be thankful that despite those lost opportunities and experiences, Hendrix is with us, happy and healthy. Tomorrow is another day to be hopeful and to trust that God has a divine plan for our little boy.
But just for tonight allow me to shed these tears from a mom’s broken heart. Tomorrow will be better.