In celebration of International Women’s Day, it is only fitting that I share my thoughts on the memoir that I read about a woman who is a strong advocate of women empowerment. Michelle Robinson Obama, the first Black First Lady of the United States of America. She is often described as “the wife of the first Black President”, however, I believe that she is best represented by her own self. The First Lady. I am not an American citizen, and I read her book setting all politics aside. This is my take as a woman, reading about a woman’s testimony about her life and the lessons she learned along the way.
My key takeaways from her book are divided into four aspects; her family life, her school life, her relationship with her husband and her life as a mom.
Family
The first few chapters are about her growing up years. Her values, her beliefs and her character, were shaped by the home she grew up in. Home is the first avenue wherein Michelle and her brother felt that their thoughts and opinions matter. Home is where she felt accepted, heard and empowered. In her book, she shared several instances wherein her mom listened to her tell stories about how her day went, her school situation, and her friends. On some occasions, her mom gives her advise but she never felt judged. This type of parenting reaped its rewards when during their teen life, Michelle and her brother, both had to make tough decisions by themselves, and their parents believed that they will do “what is right” based on their moral selves.
This is something that very home should be, a place where children can freely express themselves, be heard and be encouraged. It is a place where children can grow and find themselves.
School and friendship
As kids grow, they will step out of their comfort zones and explore the world. School is where they spend most of their waking hours than at home. It is where they will build friendships and have experiences. The strength of their character and beliefs will be tested, but if there is a strong foundation from home, they will rise above every situation unbroken. In the book, Michelle shared some of the challenges that she faced, starting from a kid who is mean to her in grade school, to her experiences as a black woman student in college. The chapters about her school life also emphasizes the importance that friendship played in her life. Next to family, friendships make a big impact in a child’s growing up years. One of Michelle’s long time friend is a daughter of a politician, and it became her first experience in the world of politics. Well, it did not lead her to like politics, but I believe it somehow prepared her to the life that she will experience a few years after.
Love and Marriage
It was quite refreshing to read the relationship story of Barack and Michelle. One thing that stands out for me is the level of support that they have for each other’s growth.
“Someone has to be the one that makes you want to be a better version of yourself; will help you find your direction, for yourself and not for him.”
Michelle writes about Barack with so much love and admiration. As a reader, it transcends to me how much she respects him, not out of fear but in true belief in the person that he is.
Michelle described Barack and her as yin and yang. They are two opposite individuals who are deeply committed to each other. This resonated with me, as this is how I also describe my husband and I. Michelle and Barack’s dissimilarities often lead them to tough decisions during crossroads in their relationship, especially when the opportunity presented for Barack to run into public office came. Michelle wanted to play it safe and be secured in their bubble. She wanted predictability, regularity and security. Barack wanted to change the world. Since they are equals in their relationship, the decisions they made are right after making compromises. I admired Michelle for biting the bullet. Despite her fears, she accepted the uncertainties out of her support for her husband . More importantly she believed in his vision. It will cost them and their daughters’ sense of normalcy and privacy but she knows that his dreams for the country are far bigger than their family.
Motherhood
I really felt most connected to Michelle in this aspect. Balancing motherhood while having a career is really something that only women will know the real struggle of. She is intelligent, strong and driven. She has so much to give. But like us most moms, she also felt guilty about having to work while her daughters are very young. An admirable decisions she made was when during her interview for a much coveted job, she laid down her family life situation. They are not the “Obamas” yet at that time. They are just like us regular families trying to find the balance of having a job and raising a family. it was so brave and uncompromising for her to do that. For me that really spells her determination to prioritize her family while having a job.
She had her disappointments, zombie mom moments, self-doubt situations, but each time she gets back on track by either, taking a step back to reassess her situation and/ or ask for help. These are my key takeaways from her in terms of being a mom. We need not take everything. We can recalibrate. More importantly, it is alright to ask for help.
After reading her book, I find that, whether one likes her or not, one can not deny that as a woman who truly knows her own self. Some might even say that she is dominating, but it also means that she is not afraid to speak her mind. She is not afraid to be heard. She is a wife. She is a mom. But most importantly, she is Michelle.
Happy International Women’s Day!