“Do you want to live a full life? If so, see life through the lens of death.”

This was the opening line of today’s bible reflection from Didache. While reading through this, I nod in understanding. Yes, the view about life changes when death, or being in the brink of death, happens. While the reflection talks about your own death, my life turned around when it was not me fighting for my life, but my son.

You see, death is such a taboo topic. Though it is in the natural order of life, it is still something most of us see as scary. When I started reading “Tuesdays with Morrie” a few years back, I was thinking, why is this author so fascinated with the idea of death? I read three more of his books with the same storyline. And I realized that it is because when you feel like there is no tomorrow to look forward to, you will make the most of the day that you have now.

I used to think that I have my life all figured out; that I am prepared with whatever life will throw at us. I like to plan things out, iron details as much as I can, control whatever it is that I can manage. But six years ago, when my son was fighting for his life on several occasions, everything changed. In those moments when I feel like I can not do anything to make him better, I learned to let go of that gripping intuition to take control of everything, because of the realization that I can not. And in those moments in our life, I felt that my mind, or better yet my life, was stripped of to the bare essentials. In those moments of letting go of all the things and thoughts that worries me, but strongly holding on to my faith in the Lord that He will do what is right no matter how painful it will be, I was reminded of what matters in life. I begun to see life differently by making the most out of each day trying to be happy; being with the ones I love and pursuing whatever makes us happy. Each day is considered a gift, and thus treated with utmost importance. In those moments of uncertainty, it became clear to me certain realities about relationships with my family and friends. That although there are people we identify as “friends” in our day to day life or even in social media, only a few will qualify as real ones; those people who know you and will stand by you no matter what.
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