I do not usually post unhappy thoughts, but my lovely reader, just this once, please allow me to air my sentiments about something that bothers me a lot.
As a mother of of micro preemie baby (born only t 26 weeks or 6 months 2 weeks gestational age), it really bothers me to hear, or read about moms thinking of premature birth as an option. If for medical reasons, yes I will understand. But for aesthetic or convenience, definitely not acceptable for me. The most common disturbing statement from a mom that I hear about considering premature birth is because either that baby is already too heavy or because of the baby’s size and movements, the mom can no longer move and function as much as she wants. I usually hold my tongue on this because at the back of my mind, I am thinking that the mom probably did not fully mean that. Maybe she is just going through a lot of body changes and physical pains that is why she said that. But recently, and the one that triggered this post, I read, in separate instances, moms wanting to give birth way early than their due date because they want to either get back to their pre-pregnancy body or they miss the gym so much. It hit a nerve on me when one of them asked to confirm if a seven month baby is more acceptable to deliver than an 8 month baby so she can discuss it with her doctor.
Hendrix’s hand at 5 days old
I mean, what is that all about? Since when did pregnancy became more about the mother and not the child? I find this idea not only disturbing but very very selfish. It hits a nerve really. Does one have to experience the pain of premature birth; of seeing their tiny babies with tubes and inside an incubator all pink and vulnerable, to understand that for 40 weeks, the best place for an unborn child is inside the mother’s womb? If one is so conscious with her body, then why get pregnant then?
When my water bag raptured on my 6th month of pregnancy 2.5 years ago, my doctors did everything possible to keep my Hendrix inside my tummy. We are all trying to buy time. A day, or even half of it is important. We knew that he has to come out soon but we are trying to extend his stay inside even just for a day. Yes, each day in the mother’s womb is important for the child’s development.
I know to each is her own. And I am sorry that this post is becoming more of a rant and a lecture. But I also guess that if you know where I am coming from; what we have experienced and all the lessons we have learned in our journey with Hendrix, then maybe it will be easier to understand where all this hurt is coming from.
I often say that I do not wish for any parent, baby and family to go through what we have been through at premature birth. I will not even wish it even to someone who is mean to me. Because no baby deserves to experience all those. As a mother who loves her kid very much, it broke me into pieces. And even though it has been 2.5 years since then, I still have scars in my heart from that. After all, as parents, what are ultimate wish is for them to be healthy, happy and strong. Wishing for a premature birth might take away those from them.
Love love Mommy Kat! I really don’t get it either why there are mothers like that. Hope they do understand the consequences of their decision…
So true Mommy Marj. I do not even know why they consider it as an option.
Very well said Ms. Kat. I can feel and understand where you are coming from. I also cannot fathom why there are mothers that think and feel like that.
In my case, I was diagnosed with severe pre-eclampsia at 34th week. We did everything we could to keep baby inside my womb longer. I endured all the very painful Magnesium Sulfate shots without hesitations (kahit mataas pain tolerance ko, ibang level ung pain nung shots na un); I had to immediately stop reporting to work and followed strictly the doctors orders of complete bed rest from the day i was diagnosed until the time i gave birth; I took all the medicines that was prescribed to me religiously (kahit feeling ko para na akong durugista sa dami ng pinaiinom nila sa akin. then lahat nireresearch ko before drinking to ensure na walang negative effect kay baby). The list goes on and on. But the bottom line is that I did all those just to ensure that my baby is safe, healthy and strong when he enters the world. With God’s help i gave birth at 37th week to a healthy baby boy. =)
*Sorry napahaba ang comment. i was really moved by your post
Thank you for sharing your story Nina. I am glad that this post has reached so many parents like us. Kaya nga nakakalungkot na merong hindi masyado naiintindihan ung pregnancy nila. I wish all moms are like you who do their research in everything.
When I was 33 weeks pregnant, I had a conversation with the ex along the lines of “I wish the baby would come soon, I don’t want to wait another 7 weeks.” When I went into labour two weeks later, I changed my tune pretty quickly! There’s a reason normal pregnancy lasts for 40 weeks.
I find it horrifying that it’s too inconvenient for someone to give up 9 months for a baby – doesn’t bode well for the rest of the child’s life does it!
Thanks for linking up with #WeekendBlogHop!
Yes, sadly there are those. But I hope mothers will be more aware and conscientious of their pregnancy.
thanks for dropping by my blog!
I cannot for the life of me fathom why someone would wish for that! I’m forever grateful that my Toby stayed safely inside for 39 weeks and 6 days! One friend had an emergency section at 27 weeks because her son was drowning with fluid on his lungs, another friend had twins at 26 weeks and 1 technically died 7 times. Thankfully, all 3 are now beautiful, healthy toddlers, but that’s not always the case as my dear blogging friend Leigh from Headspace Perspective sadly knows. Sorry, I’ve ranted a bit now!xx #WeekendBlogHop
I am with you on this Hannah. I almost ranted in my blog post as well. 🙂
thank you dropping by!
Huh?.seriously? Who would think that? It’s so selfish Im sorry. Im hoping they dont mean it though…
Yes, it is selfish indeed. Sadly there are some who meant it. I just recently found out about a baby delivered 4 weeks early because the mom has some important event/business on her actual due date. The baby is now showing signs of possible effects of induced labor. Sadly, this is recent and it is here in the Philippines.
Hello, Mommy Kat! My PPROM journey started more than 3 weeks ago when I was 24w4d pregnant. I was admitted in the hospital for 1 full week and am now under complete bedrest with limited bathroom privileges. I’d like to seek your advice as to which hospital/neonatoligist will provide the best care for my baby. Of course I am still hoping that my tear would eventually reseal *praying hard* and that My baby can reach full term 🙂 i’m taking everything one day at a time full of faith and hope (and lots of sanity hehe!) Will appreciate your recommendations!
Hi Mama Bee! I hope all is well with you at this time. How are you now?
I suggest looking for a hospital near your place that has very good NICU facilities. As much as I want to recommend to you Capitol Medical Center (where I gave birth) or St. Luke’s QC or Global (where my son’s subsequent confinements are), it will really depend on your location because if in case (but i hope not!), you deliver early, you will need to visit your baby as often as you can, so location is ideal. Of course, number one consideration in choosing a hospital is its facilities. But you will also need to consider the financial aspect. Having a preemie at NICU, sadly, is very expensive. My son spent 3.5 months in the NICU so imagine the cost of that in a private hospital. financial consideration is important especially if you are having twins or triplets since you will have to pay per child. This is a sad reality in having preemies.
As for a neonatologist, i have a good one, Dra Tita Uy who is still my son;s pedia up to now. But she is connected with St Luke’s QC. In choosing a neonatologist, best to ask your OB. Our neonatologist was not from Capitol but my OB chose her because she is known to be very kind, understanding and considerate towards her patients and their families. Having a preemie is an emotional time and you will need someone who will has the compassion to understand the emotional stress and confusion and fear that parents have. You can ask your OB for recommendations, then you can check out other moms’ experiences with that doctor via google or mommy forums.
Mamabee, i hope and pray that your baby will reach full term. I will include you in my prayers and first friday mass tomorrow. I will appreciate it if you will pls give me an update. Just let me know how much more i can help you. God bless you and your baby!