For so long I’ve been wanting to write my thoughts about being a mom but for some reason I can not seem to find the write words, until today. As it is a day of honoring moms, allow me to honor and share what both of my sons have made me become for being their Mommy.
When I was young, I had this vision of the mom I should be. As I play with my dolls, I give them food, change their nappies, sing to them and give them lots of hugs. I envision motherhood as that simple. Mother teaches kids, and kids learn from mommies. I will teach my dolly everything she needs to learn about life like reading, crossing the street, and not to talking to strangers (because that is what my Mama tells me repeatedly). I teach. They listen always. Simple? Yeah, easy-peasy. Fast forward to many years after, I realized that it is not as simple as that.
Motherhood does not come with a manual nor does it come with a “one-size fits all tried and tested” methodology. Each kid, is different, thus, parenting style differs too. All those thoughts of what a mom should be changed and evolved to something better when my sons came into my life. It is a big responsibility that involves a lot of sleepless nights, shed and unshed tears, and heartaches when my kids are in pain. It is a beautiful experience that shaped me to become a better person while I nurture a life/lives to soon become their own person.
Over the years, I learned that a mom not only teaches but more importantly encourages learning. There are lessons in life that needs to be learned on their own, even if it means letting them get dirty at times or experience a fall or disappointment. As much as I want to shield them from everything that can hurt them, I know that is not possible. I need to help them to become strong and let them deal with life’s blunders.
I can not teach my children where to go at all times but I can help them make better choices on the right path to take, when faced with life’s crossroads.
Being a mom also lead me to naturally put my children’s needs ahead of me. It is an instinct and I never knew that I am capable of being selfless. I had always been independent and used to mind my own business and deal with the consequences of my decisions. But it is a whole new level of responsibility when I became a mom because our decision, me and Daddy S’ will affect the lives and future of our sons. That thought alone makes the responsibility scary and heavy but i never felt the weight on my shoulders especially in my heart.
I also learned that a mother does not necessarily have to know everything. I do not know the answers to everything, and even at times I do not even know what I am doing. I learned that it is okay to admit it to my children. It does not make me less credible. It is actually fun when we search for answers together.
I learned that as a mother, I make wrong decisions too, and it does not make me less of a person to apologize to my children. Often times I am amazed at how easy it is for both of them to accept my apology, as tight hugs makes everything alright again. Adults can really learn a thing or two from children.
I used to aspire to be the perfect mom to my kids because I know that is what they both deserved. But I learned that I need not be perfect, I just need to be better each day. And being better means I make the most out of each day to make them feel that they are loved and valued.
I can go on and on about my learning on being a mom. I know over the years i will continue to learn more. I am not even halfway through my journey. But one thing is certain, motherhood brought out the best in me. It made me a better person because I found my purpose in life. Motherhood gave me direction.
Ten mother’s day celebrations. Each year I look forward to the things I will experience as a mom. Thank you Heinel and Hendrix for being so patient, loving, forgiving and accepting of my strengths and weaknesses as your Mommy. Being your mom is the best responsibility ever given to me because it was from God himself. Some of the choices I made may have been tough, but i never regretted any of it because I made them for both of you. I love you so much my sons.