Premature birth is a Medical Emergency, not a Birth Plan Option
I do not usually post unhappy thoughts, but my lovely reader, just this once, please allow me to air my sentiments about something that bothers me a lot.
As a mother of of micro preemie baby (born only t 26 weeks or 6 months 2 weeks gestational age), it really bothers me to hear, or read about moms thinking of premature birth as an option. If for medical reasons, yes I will understand. But for aesthetic or convenience, definitely not acceptable for me. The most common disturbing statement from a mom that I hear about considering premature birth is because either that baby is already too heavy or because of the baby’s size and movements, the mom can no longer move and function as much as she wants. I usually hold my tongue on this because at the back of my mind, I am thinking that the mom probably did not fully mean that. Maybe she is just going through a lot of body changes and physical pains that is why she said that. But recently, and the one that triggered this post, I read, in separate instances, moms wanting to give birth way early than their due date because they want to either get back to their pre-pregnancy body or they miss the gym so much. It hit a nerve on me when one of them asked to confirm if a seven month baby is more acceptable to deliver than an 8 month baby so she can discuss it with her doctor.
I mean, what is that all about? Since when did pregnancy became more about the mother and not the child? I find this idea not only disturbing but very very selfish. It hits a nerve really. Does one have to experience the pain of premature birth; of seeing their tiny babies with tubes and inside an incubator all pink and vulnerable, to understand that for 40 weeks, the best place for an unborn child is inside the mother’s womb? If one is so conscious with her body, then why get pregnant then?
When my water bag raptured on my 6th month of pregnancy 2.5 years ago, my doctors did everything possible to keep my Little H inside my tummy. We are all trying to buy time. A day, or even half of it is important. We knew that he has to come out soon but we are trying to extend his stay inside even just for a day. Yes, each day in the mother’s womb is important for the child’s development.
I know to each is her own. And I am sorry that this post is becoming more of a rant and a lecture. But I also guess that if you know where I am coming from; what we have experienced and all the lessons we have learned in our journey with Little H, then maybe it will be easier to understand where all this hurt is coming from.
I often say that I do not wish for any parent, baby and family to go through what we have been through at premature birth. I will not even wish it even to someone who is mean to me. Because no baby deserves to experience all those. As a mother who loves her kid very much, it broke me into pieces. And even though it has been 2.5 years since then, I still have scars in my heart from that. After all, as parents, what are ultimate wish is for them to be healthy, happy and strong. Wishing for a premature birth might take away those from them.