Before the year 2017 comes to a close, my boys and I went on a road trip up north to Pangasinan to see the beauty of Bolinao.
If you had been following my blog, our travels are mostly on scenic locations and amusement parks, mostly out of the country. We are not usually the type who are into beaches because of our heat rash allergies, but since school and therapy are out for the kids, and both Daddy S and I are on a Christmas break, we decided that it is the best time for the four of us to start discovering wonders of our own country, starting in Luzon.
Middle of this year, I experienced multiple symptoms that happened for several weeks. Among these are extreme migraine, dizziness, blurry vision and extreme fatigue. It happens on random occasions without any triggers at all; while walking, in the middle of a meeting, even while just sitting and working. Symptoms can last for a few minutes or even hours. It affected my productivity at work, driving skills, and even performing my duties as a mom. I undergone several tests and in the end, I found at that my symptoms are all because I am pre-diabetic. More than my lifestyle, my condition is a result of my reproductive system condition called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome or PCOS. Quite complicated for a non-medical practitioner like me, but it is mostly hormonal imbalance. In my case, my PCOS led my body to not fully convert my glucose intakes into energy. All my symptoms mentioned is my body’s way of telling me that I have low glucose level.
Upon finding out my condition, I was alarmed, and admittedly, very scared. Although I am not officially diagnosed as a diabetic, there is a high probability that I will become one in a few years if I am not careful with my health. I immediately thought of my family; my husband and two children, who need me. Diabetes is a very challenging sickness, physically and financially. I do not want it to be part of what we will have to go through as a family.
Hong Kong and Macau are our destination for our family’s summer vacation. This year we were joined by my mom and my sister!
Back in 2015, me, Daddy S and Heinel already went to Hong Kong which I also blogged about. However, it was just a quick trip and we only got to visit Disneyland (see about my post here). Thus, our excitement did not waver even if we are not first timers.
For this trip, we also skipped hotel reservations and instead tried AirBnb. We got a 3-bedroom, 2-bathroom home for just a price of one-standard hotel room at a very convenient location! Pretty neat huh?! If you want to read about our airbnb experience, just go visit my post.
As I am writing this blog, it is a Tuesday morning and my son Heinel is peacefully sleeping. He is currently on Day 4 of his hospital confinement because of Dengue. I believe we are past the critical stage and on our way to recovery.
This is not the first time that Dengue hit our family. Two years ago, Hendrix also had it but the strain is much tamer. The one that Heinel got was a strong one. We were caught off-guard since most of the dengue myths we know were debunked.
Last July 4, this photo of my little preemie going home after his 111-day stay in Neonatal-ICU (NICU) appeared in my Facebook memory,
Memories of his journey home flashed back at me. It is amazing how 5 years flew by so quickly.
Nothing about my whole birthing experience with Little H can be called conventional, even when it comes to feeding. When he was born 14 weeks before his due date, none of us were prepared. Even my body was not prepared. Two days after giving birth, I had to produce at least half an ounce of milk so they have something to feed my son for the day. However, I was not producing any, not even my colostrum is coming out. I was worried, stressed and anxious. I was desperate for milk. It was an answered prayer when my son’s neonatologist helped by giving me a massage similar to what lactation consultants do, and in a matter of minutes, my milk started to flow, not so much yet but just enough. I literally cried buckets when we delivered his first milk to NICU.
In our recent vacation in Hong Kong, we decided to try renting a home at Airbnb instead of staying in a hotel. We traveled in a group of 4 adults (me, Daddy S, my mom and my sister) and two kids. We figured that it will be more costly if we book a hotel since we would not all fit in one room, unless we get a suite which is way above our budget, thus airbnb became a good option.
For so long I’ve been wanting to write my thoughts about being a mom but for some reason I can not seem to find the write words, until today. As it is a day of honoring moms, allow me to honor and share what both of my sons have made me become for being their Mommy.
When I was young, I had this vision of the mom I should be. As I play with my dolls, I give them food, change their nappies, sing to them and give them lots of hugs. I envision motherhood as that simple. Mother teaches kids, and kids learn from mommies. I will teach my dolly everything she needs to learn about life like reading, crossing the street, and not to talking to strangers (because that is what my Mama tells me repeatedly). I teach. They listen always. Simple? Yeah, easy-peasy. Fast forward to many years after, I realized that it is not as simple as that.
Motherhood does not come with a manual nor does it come with a “one-size fits all tried and tested” methodology. Each kid, is different, thus, parenting style differs too. All those thoughts of what a mom should be changed and evolved to something better when my sons came into my life. It is a big responsibility that involves a lot of sleepless nights, shed and unshed tears, and heartaches when my kids are in pain. It is a beautiful experience that shaped me to become a better person while I nurture a life/lives to soon become their own person.
I used to worry how I will explain to EA the condition of his brother. I often wondered how I will explain to him cerebral palsy in such a way that his young mind will understand. I have all these worries for so long and I even researched topics about it. But later, I realized that just like anything, that moment of “the talk” will happen when my child is ready, and that he will come to me when he is.
It is when he was 7 and Little H was 3 when EA started asking questions. He begun his curiosity by comparing Little H with their cousins who are of the same age as his little brother. He asked why their cousins are walking and Little H is not; why their cousins are talking and why Little H is not. He asked the questions with so much innocence. I can see that he was trying to reconcile and make sense of everything. At that point, i knew, EA is ready.